i seriously HATE my hair like mad. i seriously dont like the new look i got myself. i prefer the hair i got last week! hurhur.

i got my Business Fundamentals result. aint good. sighs. failed by one pathetic mark. sighs.

something really bad happened yesterday.

** totally suck big time.

i seriously need to get myself under the sun. im turning fair. man.. soon ill look like a ghost. looking so pale and all. sigh!

10days more to my BFD CA! omg.....

and the pictures i took last week. and after my ugly haircut.


look at that ugly hair. omg............




seee.. big head. sighh










and this is the previous hair cut. i prefer this......


this is cutie ain and myself.


Sab sab and myself.




the 3 of us!


ain need not act cute coz shes already cute. haha




sab and the nerdy mee.







sigh. i so regretted for that haircut! HOW?

i went MOS last night with tyler. and met some of his friends. make new friends. and one of them i remembered is Joyce. she look so cute and blur. very sweet too. hahas. the moment i stepped into the place i was like PHHHHUUUUAAAAAAAAA! so darn big and so cool! i like. hahas.went to smoove and get crazie then to the retro one den at the trance one. dun really like trance. retro one so funny. got uncle danced so cute one! ahahas.

and got home quite "early" at 4+am. and quickly bathed and jumped onto bed to catch that few little hours of sleep.

got up at 1030am to get prepared to head down bedok for Cellgroup meeting over at Jia Hui's place. hehe. well. i had a fruitful day. learned new stuffs and make new friends again. people like adel. esther. and etc. i forgot their name already. hahas. oh one more. if im not wrong kaiyin.

wanna share this with you guys. it impacted me somehow.:

Reputation is what you have when you come to a new place.
Character is what you have when you go away.
Reputation is learned in an hour.
Character does not come to light for years.
Reputation is made in a moment.
Character is built in a lifetime.
Reputation grows like a mushroom.
Character grows like an oak.
Reputation is made from a single newspaper report.
Character is built from a life of toil.
Reputation makes you rich or poor.
Character makes you happy or miserable.
Reputation is what men say about you on your tombstone.
Character is what the angels say about you around the throne of God.

so true right? Reputation aint important. its the Character we have that is important. and i want to be a person of Good character! Jia Hui shared this during the meeting and its from the book im reading. MY sweetest brother Joshua lend it to me. its entitled Whose Child Is This? by Bill Wilson. i think its a very good book.

well. i think its time to decide on some stuff. to let go of some problem im clinging on since church. and to decide if i want to join Jia Hui. and to sacrifice my time for my dear time with my abba daddy. have to start to rearrange my lifestyle. hehe. its time for a good change right? haha

today JiaHui prayed for me and i teared like a siao woman. i wanted to control coz im with my makeup on and mascara! so i tried not to cry which it obviously failed. and shocked Jiahui. haha. the prayers impacted me so much. hit me totally. one word OPEN. made me teared. at the same time i was thinking about other stuff too.

Open up to God. and God will surely stand by me and hold on to me. but. when a man says that to me. i was forsaken in the end. disappointed. whats more can i ask of from human beings? hahas.

and having wrong attitude. like having hatred etc. well i shall not live in darkness and again i shall tell myself to have a big big bigger heart.

and im so so tired. i needa get recharged.

the hiphop dance class and choir rehearsal was said to be cancelled. so i went to the gym for a little while and met rene keli patricia jean and tifu to head down town.

went far east. i wanted to cut my hair. wanna try having a thicker fringe. well in the end i got a thicker fringe. but not the hairdo i wanna have. sighs. the hairstylist over at far east change my style to the jap jap kind. so now ive gotta put on wax on my hair before i go out. a messy kinda look. well. i said to her to just cut the way she thinks im suitable for. maybe she thinks im suitable for this? but im not use to seeing myself with a messed and weird harido? i think i look terrible. or maybe im just not used to it. and now i cant wait for my hair to be long again. was telling rene that my long hair will never come back. coz im like tempted to keep on trying a new look. im thinking of the next look i wanna have.

im feeling so so weird. its the hair that is making me feeling this way. im standing in front of the mirror like dont know how many times. trying to get used to it. my brother said the hairstyle make my face look more and more round. AHHHH. that also means as FAT. AHHHH.

took height and weight today. i did not gain weight. haha. and im darn short. 153cm only. im so darn sad.

how how? what can i do to my hair? hows? look so ugly can. AHHH!

just got home from bugis. i decided to blog again. hees.

called rene to ask her to accompany me for dinner and im craving for mos burgers nuggests so i suggested to head down bugis. hehe. had my dinner at 9+pm how sad. last meal was like 12+pm. hurhur.

i bought sunglasses again. 10 bucks only. so cheap. why dont buy?! haha. so i bought. last piece. rene says its nice so ill take it as its nice. haha.

went aunts place. i said hi to her the moment i appear right at her gate. she stared at me like WHY ARE YOU HERE. and got so pissed off. and talked to her mom in her china china language. i went there coz my uncle asked me to go there to get stuff. if he didnt ask. i die also wont appear. think i so love to see her face? siao chinawoman.

she tell me off coz i dont wanna eat and she said i kept on wanting to go on diet and my stomach darn small already and scold and scold and scold. she said till as if im gonna DIE soon. i dont know what the hell she is scolding me for when all i wanted was to take the stuff and leave. and trying hard to slim down is my dream coz i NEVER EVER EVER want her to squeeze my arms stomach thighs and say AIYO SO FAT! imagine i was so demoralised when every new year she and the other aunt will say that to me! how hurtful it can be. and i will never ever let it happen again. i hate hurtful WORDS.

well i got so darn used to her senseless scoldings. and i got numbed over it already. and i told myself to TOLERATE her rubbish. and even her daughter asked me to not bother about her mom. so.. to make myself happier. i started to take pictures with my cute little cousins. hehe. and i realised that this aunt of mine love to scold demoralise me till i started to cry already she will stop all of that one okie. but it will happen only like after a year. hahas.

AND. my brother brought his friend home to take the electric drum set off from my room. but i did not pack my room. towels bag combs everywhere. hanger on the floor. omg. felt so bad. im over bz. no time to pack the house. told him: aiyo why you bring ur fren home when the house so messy? he told me he giving away the set. but sigh! its in my room and its sooo untidy. hurhur. so no face. haha. but well. its my house. haha. anyway. dear readers. i live in a jungle. haha!


this is alice. i love her since young. we played together.. love her so much


this is her little brother. the hyper hyperactive kid. micheal-weijie-. i also ask him if he loves me or if he misses me. his reply was: jie jie you are a girl i cannot love you. i love gor gor. anyways. he saw me just now he said: jie jie. ni hen mei leh. i was like OHHH wei jie i love you so much!!!


this kid is the second brother. john. he loves to play computer games. he is a smart boy. hee


closer look of alice and myself.


again..


and again


aint he just so cute??


the 3 of us. aint taken by me. i ask the two kid to do us good to hold the camera and press the button. haha


but i guess after all. the owner of the phone snaps nicer shots. ahahaha!


cute hor? very cute hor?


i wanted to act cute too. but at that moment i cant think of any cute moves. hahaha.


so we just continue taking.


i pulled weijie back to take picture. but he is so busy having his dinner.


so i pulled weiming instead.


went in their room. and wei jies playing around. i went over to catch him to make him take picture with me. hahas.


then i asked weiming to help the three of us to take a shot. but i think my phone really a bad phone. it only listens when im taking. so we waited and waited. we played around and TADAH. my camera WORKED!


i cant take pictures with only weijie. so... weiming came along.


and she will never ever be outta my life. its a must to have her around.

shes so close to me. till her mom thinks that i taught her bad. her mom thinks its me that she hangs around causes her to not fare well for her exams. so is there anyone i can hang around with to make me score full marks? and her mom indirectly hinted that im a unlucky girl. hello the name dad gave was a great name please. JESSIE actually meant THE BLESSED ONE. and im feeling really blessed. hahas

oh well. noone is perfect. i can never be perfect if any of you wants me to be. i cant never do perfectly perfect in anything. if i were to be so perfect God wouldnt place me in the pathetic black world. to everyone who knows me. accept me for who i am. befriend me for who i am not who you wish/want me to be. coz im me myself and i JESSIE. TAY.

i want to shop again. rene tmr ons?

just got home after a long tiring day from school. i actually thought today will be a dreadful day for me due to the progress test. but well. its over. no longer dreadful to me. hahas. wonder how i did for my test? please just slap me.

questions like define entreprenuership. know what i write? AHH. i wrote its set up and own by one person. sigh. sound familiar? i mistook it as SOLE PROPRIETORSHIP!! and questions like state the four production of business. know what i state? i state the relationships of Economic and BUSINESS. wAAAaa. and i finished the paper in 20mins time. im so so disappointed. im prepared for any outcome. pass or fail im prepared. pass ill be very happy fail ill be very sad. blame on myself. i studied for only 30 mins. and revised in school with mr malcolm for another hour. so its 1.30 mins. how to do very well?

accounting lesson is another killer for me. but well. i care not if mrs annie soon is gonna scream yell at me. i still went up to her to ask her all the questions i dont know. so whatever i was complaining about accounting have already been solved. for purchase day book. i have to open cashbook cum purchase journal cum sales journal cum purchase account cum sales account cum the discount allow account cum the discount receive account come my individual accounts. alot hor? imagine every morning. im doing this.. i so wanna pull my hair out already. hahas.

then. mrs annie soon asked:

mrs annie soon: hey whats your name ah?

me: -sadded- one month plus plus in this school and still dont know ma name. i replied. Jessie.

mrs annie soon: your JESSIE TAY?

me: yes im jessie tay. haha.

mrs annie soon: JESSIE YOUR WELL KNOWN FOR YOUR LATE COMINGS.

me: -LAUGHS-

mrs annie soon: and you will be well known for being top okie.

me: LAUGHS.

haha. i was just late for lesson for like 3 times only leh. its the best already okie. i dont wanna be well known in this way. i wanna be well known for good results. hehe.

adeline asked if i wanna go down Music Underground tonight. LADIES night. im so tempted to go coz ive never been there before. but that MUSIC UNDERGROUND sounds scary to me. haha. and ive gotta be at aunts place too. so too bad. have to discipline myself. i shall not go. and exams are getting closer and closer to me. Business Fundamentals test unit 5-7 this tue! hurhurhurhurrrr..

anyways. bestie's girlfriend's boyfriend had an accident. dear daddy in heaven. please heal this man and make him whole. all the painful hurts be gone the scars the brokened bone. please heal him. amen.

dear all. if you ride a bike. please do be careful on the road. its darn dangerous. please watch out for cars coming. please pray hard before you start riding. because you will never know what will happen next.

and if you drive. please OPEN your EYES big big. dont JIAO LUAN and dont know how to BREAK. you dont know how much hurt you will cause to the person youve knocked down. please do take good care too. drive carefully.

holidays are coming already. i cant wait. i wanna sleep longer. i wanna play more. i wanna shop more.....

theres a bangkok trip i wanna go so badly. im gonna save for it if im able to go with my classmates. theres a mint?or min? factory i also wanna go. see how people make gold coin? if im not wrong. theres alot more trips my CA named out. i so wanna go for all.

theres a food and fun fair and cheerleading and etc coming up during the 8th of aug. just before National Day. i wanted to choose cheerleading. but!! sigh. rene aint from the same class as me. sigh we cant cheer together like the times when we were in sec sch! hur hur! ISABEL HOUSE! Cheerrr! so dumped that idea off. and choose food and fun fair. i thought of so many stuff. i could make sushi? could make jelly? ofcoz not done by me. maybe i should ask my Da aunt to help me. hehe. and my Da aunt's barley very very yummy one lehs. hehe. and erm. i forgot what else la. oh i suggested to Ain to make apple fondue. sliced the apple and dipped in the yummy chocolate. and cherry fondue aint bad too. Ain cutie loves CHEERRYYY like crazie. and someone said will be prepared with -bao ji wan- haha! just in case people get diarreoa. haha

accounting lesson killed me again today. i was like ERM. HUH. OH. OKIE. WHy this WHY that? why? i hate to do the cashbook cum purchase/sales journal cum general ledger and close accounts. coz i seriously dont know which account should i open and which i should not. and which is CONTRA entry. thou i somehow know how to do contra entry already. WHATEVER it is! I HATE ACCOUNTS! imagine just one pathetic question i needa do so many ACCOUNT. SIAO!-SCREAMs-

and im having Business Fundamentals test from unit 1-4 tomorrow and know what? ive not even touch my notes yet. AHH.

i was totally tired after that torturing accounts lesson early in the morning. so when Business Fundamentals lesson has started, im like half dead. used up all mua brain cells for Accounts. and so i dropped dead on the table. i slept. but ive got no idea why. when im like sleeping im also paying attention to what mr malcolm is teaching. haha. i sleep and sleep. den suddenly i got up and pen down what mr malcolm was saying. taking note. haha. Sab was shocked that i suddenly got up and write a sentence and dropped dead again. haha. weird hor? i think theres smth wrong with me. hahaha!

oh. i have a friend. we seldom talk. but. whenever she msn me. she will always ask the same old question. and im so darn freaking tired of it. know what question? now got boyfriend anot? why dont have boyfriend? dear world. shes forever asking the same old question. i think if i did not remember wrongly. she had already asked almost ten over times ever since ive gotten know her. oh guan ying ma. why? i know she has a boyfriend. many i mean. from the time since she was in perth till the time shes back in singapore. i know all along she have Boyfriends. dont have to HL to me ones. sometimes she tells me some stupid stuff about what she did and im abit tired of listening. sometimes i just hope she will just dont msn me. hahas. darn HL. being attached very good meh? i dont see anything good about being attached. you see, being attached hors. its so SAD. why sad? coz you will be so darn afraid of your loved one to leave you someday. not that your thinking too much. its just afraid lor. who dont? tell me. and you cant play, talk have fun peacefully. cant enjoy to the fullest. coz each minute you are thinking. and if you let your loved one enjoy. they might think you dont love them or dont care for them or whatever. and thats so darn heartbroken. and if you really open up to your loved one. and in the end.. your loved one leave you. wont you be even more heartbroken? so.. being single is alot alot alot better alright. but for people like her, erm. mindset like- leave me? nvm i can find the other one- not a very good mindset huh?

oh. and ive finally finished watching Green Forest, My Home on youtube. omg! leon jay williams so darn MAN! i like! in the show, hes a MAN of his word he honour his word. he loves. truely loves. he gave his all to his princess. he assured her of his love. and at the same time the princess's knight-ethan- also another dude. being by her side whenever shes in trouble. being there for her. never leave her. omg! perfect. so so so darn perfect. but sadly princess chose william to be her prince. and they.. live happily ever after! so.. where my prince? i think he will never come. haha. coz.. Guys are selfish. someone told me that. hahas. and Guys only want themselves to be happy. thats what someone told me too. and from ma point of view. i think guys are super duper duper.. erm.. CRUEL. haha! yes thats the word. and some of my guy friends agrees with me okie. some even agree that they are jerk. WOW. and i meant the worldly guys. haha! not the Godly ones.

my taggie had been so peaceful. can someone make some noise?

AHH. tigger loves to sleep on my pinky bed. im so pissed. he sleep there i sleep where? and he meow so much. he dont deserve my pinky bed. and ive already fed him with my own hands earlier. im being very nice to him already! sayang him already. he still conqured my bed! ahh!! and not only tigger sleep on ma bed. my brother also sleep on my bed! maybe i should get a black bedsheet. so noone slp on it? coz its black? haha. pink is sweet so sleep on it. will have sweet dreams. -laugh out loud- okie im talking nonsense. accouts got me mad. blame on that stupid accounting lessons.

watched The Cars last night. first time rushing like hell to the cinema. the show. 6/10. coz i dont really watch cartoon. and theres a DA TOU in front of me blocking ma view almost all the time.

Choir rehearsal is starting this friday and i am more interested in my hip hop dance class. i cannot go home early every friday already! i think my eye bags are getting more and more JL. hurhur. and soon you will see.. THE BLACK EYE BAGS. -laughs-

and.. i cannot remember my eurasian baby's face already!!!!!!

im supposed to be busy getting prepared to meet joanna sweetie to catch The Cars over at Marina. and look now, im here blogging. haha. i just cant get prepared without sharing with you guys that super duper cute eurasian i saw while walking home!

OMG!! OMG!! i tell you what. i was half awake while walking home looking down on the road. feeling so darn shagged. then i looked up and i see that HANDSOME eurasian guy! omg! why eurasian? coz i say so! haha. i think he look like one lar. super handsome. think the most handsome guy ive ever seen? haha. im serious. freaking beautiful eyes- FAINTS- nice body-FAINTS- nice outfit-FAINTS- nice hair-FAINTS- everythings just so NICE!

was rewinding the images of that guy and rushed into the lift coz i dont wanna wait for the other. i smiled to the guy who came in earlier in the lift coz he waited for me lar. den.. that guy talk to me. so im friendly i replied. he said: you stay at level 6 ah? i stood quietly looking at him for like. erm. 10 secs. den i replied ERm. yah. thou i dont stay that level. hahahaha! ive lied. but too bad. have to protect myself. den he said: oh i stay at level 15. nice to meet you-wanting to shake my hand- i stared at him in a FRIENDLY manner but my heart was like. OH GOD CAN THE LIFT DOOR JUST OPEN NOW???!!!??? den the door OPENED! and i let him shake my hand and poof i faster walked home. den he said. we will meet again if we have fate. we will meet again if we have fate. i was like EEEEEEEE! i dont believe in fate la! and. im not interested in meeting you again lars. you tell me if we have faith we will meet again. ill agree. haha!

and omg. that eurasian really cute lar! drools. maybe just like xinxin's pasta boi! hahah!

and i got back my accounts result. SIGH. dear world. can you tell me why am i sucha careless and blur and blah girl? marks got deducted coz i wrote balance b/d as balance c/d! and amt of cash side i wrote on the bank side! omg!!! and in all ive only got myself 72% which is 11.5/16! omg! slap me.

and joanna lee had turned bad. she like to say im a si nu ren. she says she wants to whacked me if i dont meet her for movie today. and said she wanna slap me. omg! im so hurt! i dont love you anymore. ive found my new love. that eurasian! laughs!!!!

and i miss my dearest good friends. nelson where are you? justin? dont just slack at forum. ask me out! i wanna play and work hard later! hahas.

i did accounts work again today and i got super duper duper angry. very angry like ive nv been so angry. i was like HAI! HAI AND HAI in the class. almost wanna bang the table. wanna just close the book and walk outta that class. super upset. sigh. i hate accounts. so many stuff to do. was wondering if i should close the account or not to close. and teacher say dont wad close or dont close. so being 50/50 percent confirm? i got myself in an angry mood.

shit im so gonna be late!

im supposed to be busy getting prepared to meet joanna sweetie to catch The Cars over at Marina. and look now, im here blogging. haha. i just cant get prepared without sharing with you guys that super duper cute eurasian i saw while walking home!

OMG!! OMG!! i tell you what. i was half awake while walking home looking down on the road. feeling so darn shagged. then i looked up and i see that HANDSOME eurasian guy! omg! why eurasian? coz i say so! haha. i think he look like one lar. super handsome. think the most handsome guy ive ever seen? haha. im serious. freaking beautiful eyes- FAINTS- nice body-FAINTS- nice outfit-FAINTS- nice hair-FAINTS- everythings just so NICE!

was rewinding the images of that guy and rushed into the lift coz i dont wanna wait for the other. i smiled to the guy who came in earlier in the lift coz he waited for me lar. den.. that guy talk to me. so im friendly i replied. he said: you stay at level 6 ah? i stood quietly looking at him for like. erm. 10 secs. den i replied ERm. yah. thou i dont stay that level. hahahaha! ive lied. but too bad. have to protect myself. den he said: oh i stay at level 15. nice to meet you-wanting to shake my hand- i stared at him in a FRIENDLY manner but my heart was like. OH GOD CAN THE LIFT DOOR JUST OPEN NOW???!!!??? den the door OPENED! and i let him shake my hand and poof i faster walked home. den he said. we will meet again if we have fate. we will meet again if we have fate. i was like EEEEEEEE! i dont believe in fate la! and. im not interested in meeting you again lars. you tell me if we have faith we will meet again. ill agree. haha!

and omg. that eurasian really cute lar! drools. maybe just like xinxin's pasta boi! hahah!

and i got back my accounts result. SIGH. dear world. can you tell me why am i sucha careless and blur and blah girl? marks got deducted coz i wrote balance b/d as balance c/d! and amt of cash side i wrote on the bank side! omg!!! and in all ive only got myself 72% which is 11.5/16! omg! slap me.

and joanna lee had turned bad. she like to say im a si nu ren. she says she wants to whacked me if i dont meet her for movie today. and said she wanna slap me. omg! im so hurt! i dont love you anymore. ive found my new love. that eurasian! laughs!!!!

and i miss my dearest good friends. nelson where are you? justin? dont just slack at forum. ask me out! i wanna play and work hard later! hahas.

i did accounts work again today and i got super duper duper angry. very angry like ive nv been so angry. i was like HAI! HAI AND HAI in the class. almost wanna bang the table. wanna just close the book and walk outta that class. super upset. sigh. i hate accounts. so many stuff to do. was wondering if i should close the account or not to close. and teacher say dont wad close or dont close. so being 50/50 percent confirm? i got myself in an angry mood.

shit im so gonna be late!

rene keli patricia and i initially din wanted to club last night. but. we've got nothing to do. so we drop by boat quay. and walked one whole long route. and finally decided to just go and club. so we.. CLUB. some people wanted to go RUSH. and i quickly said NONO. i will sleep inside. haha. so we went to this i dont know what name pub. R&B pub lai de. hehes. danced with rene while patricia the good drinker, slowly drink and watch us dance. and keli joined in the dance after much disturbing. haha!

got home around 4+am and quickly bathed and poof i go to my lala land first. im dead tired. rene came online and i dont know what can she do being online at sucha late hour. well i didnt bother. i went to zzz. im so sorry to patricia and keli that ive gotta let you both sleep on the sofa. coz i have got only one single bed and thats for rene and myself and its not enough for all of us. im so so so sorry.

and know what? that rene finally decided to sleep at 6AM. pushed me to one side coz i conquered the whole bed. and she took my beloved bolster away from me. me, thinking that she'll return it to me later. i lend it to her. but...... i couldnt sleep any better without my BOLSTER! so.. i went to hug serene! opppss. im so sorry darling. who ask you to take my beloved away from me! she was quite shocked. but well. she dont care. haha. aiya i know you want me to hug you one right. hahahahaahs.

i bear with the PAIN without a bolster till late morning. i couldnt take it. so i went to poke serene. she looked at me and i pointed at my bolster and back to myself. and she finally decided to return my beloved to me. im so so glad. haha.

then i waited for her to wake up. our plan for today was SUPPOSINGLY SENTOSA! to suntan and visit all the attractions. but! i dont know why IT must only RAIN when i wanna tan and play!!! im so so disappointed. coz ive been looking forward to this day for a long time. sighs. and i die die must be outta the house eventhough the plan was cancelled. so we head down town for lunch. where? at galilee. well. not bad this time. haha i had as good as it gets. hehe.

den went shopping and walk pass cake shop. and hehe. i psycho rene to order that chocolate chocolate rumba cake. and we both enjoy eating. haha! the cake just melt inside our mouth. its SOO YUM YUM! hahaa.

wanted to go far east to have cheesey hot dog. but was walking towards lucky plaza i was thinking to drop by WISMA to VISIT tyler. haha and yes he's working today. he's looking so good today. i like his hair thou its a little long. haha! and went shopping and i got myself a top from MANGO and im loving the top like mad. haha!

met keli and tifu also. walke to topshop and saw stuffs that i so wanna get. hurhur. pay please come faster. haha! accompanied keli for dinner at LJS. and rene and i took pictures again. and coz of some actions i did. i laughed out loud and everyone look at me. darn. my yi tai gone again. rene next time dont laugh at my actions can. you laugh i also wanna laugh already lar!

and ive been a mean girl today. im so sorry. to my brother. he were just being nice to ask if i want to have lunch or just saying hi. i scolded him coz im heartbrokened while watching GreenForest, My Home at youtube. im so sorry bro. im too into the show already. so so sorry.

okie. loadsa pictures..


we had our photoshoot with the song entitled MY VALENTINE being played and sing in the hotel. hehe.


after clubbing. look at rene. she danced like crazie and she sweated like crazie too!


on our way down town today!








and we met keli. with her new new haircut. i love it like mad!




handsome right?hehe


the twi of us!


many said that ive got very big eyes ever since i got my fringe cut. so.. its time to have a smaller eye! haha


i like to act cute too.








nice hair right!?!?


we tried this funtion with my K750i. im so darn amazed with it. haha.












nice? its suppose to be a heart.


on our way home!


i really love her alot alot.




YIPPIE! ive shopped and had fun today!

and its a brand new week next week. im praying for a good week. and no monday blues. haha

be loved world!